X-Men: The Last Stand Review

The Plot: Put it frankly, the plot is weak. Or rather, the movie is missing a main plot in wake of myriad of sub-plots that take minimal percentage of screen time each. The two biggest of the plots are based on the Phoenix Saga of the comics (remember Jean Grey from the previous movie that drowned in the last moments of the film, that’s her) and Magneto leading an attack against a company that devised a way to purge mutant’s powers permanently. Both plots practically act as a backdrop for the unnecessarily large amount of mutant cameos, romances, father-son relationships, flooding the movie with excuses to use pretty effects and stripping it of any real plot development. Hell, the entire concept of the Phoenix Saga which spanned over numerous issues of the comics as well as being the integral part of the plot is squeezed in a minute long conversation between Magneto and Xavier. If you come watching this movie for a plot, not for you.

The Characters: As mentioned before, the amount of minor characters in this movie eclipse the main characters and their development. Mutants are thrown in, use their power once or twice, and thrown out through the duration of the entire movie. Main characters of the series are killed off in minutes with minimal time of development, as if the director assumes that everyone who watches the movie will understand every motif behind every action. On the plus side, the characters that are given sufficient screen time for decent one-liners deliver them well. On another negative side, it would appear that Ian McKellan forgot how to display emotion in this movie other then the three changes of tone from “epic calm”, “apathetically sorry”, and “angry”. On another plus side, the Juggernaut’s infamous line is in. Basically, don’t come expecting great focus on the X-Men team, but you can enjoy all the minor appearances by other mutants.

The Action: This is where the movie shines. Mutant powers are beautifully done (Although the Phoenix is disappointing and the “Pyro vs Iceman battle was so cliché it hurt) and the action is well moderated so the viewer doesn’t get bored. Magneto’s moments are beautifully done, some of the better done special effects over the past years. Basically, if you come for this, you shouldn’t be disappointed considering you don’t set your standards to high.

Submitted by Alexander D.

Finals Time at Magnet

With only a few days remaining until our first day of Final exams, Magnet students are hurrying to revise and condense notes and study key concepts which will be covered on these exams. One thing of importance to remember is that even the Magnet faculty are not unanimous in their appraisal of final exams, and some even doubt that final exams accomplish what they set out to accomplish. One might question how it is possible to fit an entire year or half a year into one hundred minutes of an examination, yet most do not question the logic behind it all. Oftentimes final exams turn into almost like a buffet with only appetizers; you get a sample of everything, but you do not really get all that you need from each of the important topics.

My Physics I final exam this year has twenty four questions on it, with twenty that we have to answer to receive full credit. Even though the exam only covers the second half of the year, I think it is quite foolish to sum up five months of a student's life of building up knowledge on one test. Sure the test helps us recall concepts from five months ago that we may have forgotten, but what happens after finals? Summertime starts, and we all know what that means. Our brains turn off "school mode" and turn on "break" mode. While this doesn't result in all the knowledge being lost, some of the finer concepts that were tested on the final will be lost with time over the summer anyway. September is often a key month for teachers to review concepts from the past year that will be built on in the coming year. In my opinion, final exams put an over-emphasis on short-term knowledge and a lesser emphasis on the long-term love of learning.

A much more practical way to keep up knowledge over the summer would be to take a textbook home and read the material from it in an attempt to gain more knowledge on a particular topic of interest. For those who are curious, the final exam schedule is as follows:

Friday Exams: B 1/2 & B 7/8
Monday Exams: A 1/2 & A 7/8
Tuesday Exams: B 3/4 & B 9/10
Wednesday Exams: A 3/4 & A 9/10

I suggest consulting your technology or fitness teachers for the dates of your technology and fitness exams. The schedule varies based on whether you are an underclassmen or an upperclassmen.

Clumsiness... or Divine Intervention?

On Friday, May 26, 2006 Anno Domini, a higher power intervened in the life of Magnet. It was 11:36 AM when the
Giant Spaghetti Monster reached out and touched student Alex M. with His Noodley Appendage.
“It was like a Holy force propelling me towards Heaven. Except in the completely different direction” said Alex (Direct Quotation).
Was this really an example of Divine Intervention? “Yes,” says student religious coordinator Benedict Finkerstein, “this is hardly the first event with a sighting of His Noodley Greatness. He was seen as recently as last year’s graduation ceremony.” (See above graphic depiction)
While all of this may seem far-fetched, think again. For aeons, many children have been propelled through glass by His Greatness according to His starchy whims. “It was the utmost honor,” says Alex M. “I can only hope that I am enough worthy to feel His warm moist touch once more in my humble lifetime.”
The lone voice of skepticism in magnet, Aryeh W., has this to say: “I think it (Flying Spaghetti Monsterism)’s possible, you can’t disprove such a theory. After all, it is just a theory, just like gravity. You never when you’ll just float away.”

Submitted by Jake "Teh Thor" T.

Metal Fans Unite!

It has been well known for the past several months that the mystical day of June 6, 2006 would arrive. What makes this date something to note is the supposed significance of the number 666, the number of the beast according to Biblical tales and common superstition. June 6, 2006, may be written 6/6/06, hence this date has been seen as somewhat ominous in the least. This date will only happen once every millenia, and different elements of our culture have chosen different ways to celebrate this day.

Metal fans worldwide have taken this day to be a "National Day of Slayer", where they will play Slayer music at full blast for everyone to hear, in commemoration of the date. Slayer fans understand that most of the public does not listen to Slayer or even the genre that Slayer exists in, metal, so they are playing the music loud and proud so that even non-participators will be participating. Their music is almost symbolic of their rejection of traditional societal values.

I feel that this day is a good a day as any to celebrate Metal music in general, with a special emphasis on Slayer, as it has been considered a particularly brutal and evil band in the past. The official website for this date is located below, with "Angel of Death" playing in the background, widely renowned as their best song.

http://www.nationaldayofslayer.org/

Devolution of Grey Matter or Why Nature Failed Humanity

There is a myriad of things people waste brain cells on, ranging from redundant every day slip ups to achieving the ultimate honor known as the Darwin Award. Of that spectrum, plenty of energy is wasted on political and religious debates which are easily some of the most heated, uneducated, and bandwagon discussions out there. It’s easily observed by throwing “flame bait” to the target audience, and then listening to the chaos that ensues. The ignorant accusations, falsified statements, and absolute lack of basic understanding of the base philosophies behind the two sides they argue are astounding.
Plenty of times people don’t even know how to argue their own side on top of this travesty they spew out of their mouth. Plenty of times they attempt to convince each other with logic that the other side simply ignores and dismisses as it does not fit their worldview, leading to some of the most pointless debates akin to trying to shove the opponent off the bridge with the ancient art of Head Butting.
One of the greatest faults of the human mind is its susceptibility to practice of failing to form their own opinion, not doing research, and regurgitating of Rumor-Mill Products Inc. as well as scraps of information they find, overhear, or are told by other people. Religious and political debates are the prime victim of this deficiency: atheists try to convince theists with logic and facts without looking up the definition of faith, hard line Christians who apply logically unsound arguments to disprove evolution (disproving something that is a product of sound logic and scientific method in such manner is… moronic), conservatives who slam liberals as corrupt and amoral (there IS no such thing as universal moral), liberals who fail to understand the purpose behind waging war in the middle east (screaming “It’s for oil” just because that’s what the “smart people say” is one way ticket to be slammed by someone who attempts the arcane practice of thinking), people who fail to analyze information given to them by the media, conspiracy theorists who do zero credible research, the list just goes on and on. To put this in layman’s terms, don’t bother to argue things you have no real knowledge of outside hearsay. It is a simple request, take in information and analyze it before passing any of it on. Don’t argue on feelings, learn to understand the other side before speaking about it, and never argue off murky basics like faith, morals, and ethics without applying thinking and common sense to them first.

Submitted by Alexander D.